PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
