i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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