i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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