She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize