check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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