You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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