Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize