Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
