i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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