Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just invented taco cereal.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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