Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
