I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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