i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
