Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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