community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Randomize
