I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
