So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
