Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
