i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He passed out mid-signature
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
