Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
