You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
