K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just had sex bonerless
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize