THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
