I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
