Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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