Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
