whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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