Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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