When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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