Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
