she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
