you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
