the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
