we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
