Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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