Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
