If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
