One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
