He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize