We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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