Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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