So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My feet surprised me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
