if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize