do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
