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GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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