Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
