Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
