you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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