I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
