I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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