How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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