I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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