i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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