You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
