Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
two words...techno handjob
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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