I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
