At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
