good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
