We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
