I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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